So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
