What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize