how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
