a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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