OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize