Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
