Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
