That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize