WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
