yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
