Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize