alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
