Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
