You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
