oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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