Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
