Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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