cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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