I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
