It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
