This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
