I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
