If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need a beard to bite.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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