i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
