So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
