I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
