Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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