I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
