She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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