I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
