I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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