It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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