Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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