we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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