We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
