oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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