are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
