He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
