what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
