and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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