love makes seman taste better
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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