he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
