apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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