Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
