she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Boobs are out for the taking
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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