So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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