no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize