Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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