Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize