Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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