brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
