I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
