it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
areolas are like halos for boobs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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