just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
