I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
