I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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