Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize