woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
