dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
