Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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