I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
