i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
